For this almost-ides-of-March meeting, the KIRBC masterminds decided a bonus theme was in order based on the hilarious Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids series (next event April 7th), so we asked people not only to bring a book to advocate, but also to dig through basements, desk drawers and top secret hideaways to find a guaranteed source of public embarrassment – their juvenilia. We didn’t know if the logistics would limit participation, but once again KIRBCers blew me away. Top marks to Reeder, who had her parents fax her eighth grade poems to her workplace. Now that’s commitment. Because some of this was golden, I’m going to start with a few choice passages we had a chance to madly transcribe. Okay, off we go…
I (JK) bring a grade 2 picture book about what I’d be when I grew up, a grade 2 school journal that demonstrates my early attempts at metafiction, as well as my authentic locked grade 3/4 diary (with key taped to the top of the box it’s in…apparently I wasn’t going to be a spy when I grew up) in which I declare: “I’m glad I have you because it gives me someone to spread my feelings to.” And an example of those feelings:
Dear Diary,
Today was a pretty good day. I gave the ring back to Todd and Todd gave the ring to Katie. Katie loves Todd. I just think of him as an alein [sic] that can hardly do anything and has no brains. And just as another weird boy in my class.
Dear Diary,
Slept over at Stephie’s last night. Got silly putty in my hair. Now I have a bald spot.
That silly putty was a debacle…
Loretta reads from a school project from grade 4 or 5 called “When I am a little older.” She says with luck and good grades she will graduate elementary school and high school and then hopefully be a teacher, and buy a house in the country where she will have great family, friends 2 horses, 9-10 cats, 3-4 dogs and maybe 5 mice. Why five mice? “I always had mice growing up. I only had 3, but I wanted 5 so it would be a better group dynamic.”
Marci is shocked at Loretta’s life planning: “I was still eating paste and you were planning a career?”
Marci reads from her grade eight journal anout her aunt’s “celebrate life” party and her dog Dykster, about Camp Burbilak being “Booooooooooring” and her fights with her friends (“She’s not a retard, but she’s acting like one.”) But this had to be my favourite part:
“My scariest night mare is when I was awake at night but I was seeing spiders everywhere. I couldn’t get to sleep. And the other dream that scared me is that I died and no one cared.”
I love so much that the spider dream is the scarier one there.
Go-Go reads from her award-winning picture book “Spring” displaying some classic ball and stick trees and “M” birds. She may confuse regular birds and snowbirds as she writes “In spring all the birds come back from Florida.”
Reeder reads from a very personal work, “The Me You See,” which is apparently riddled with lies and self-delusion. She recounts a friendship-destroying fight when a friend said “Nick Carter is not hot!” and she was all “Bitch yeah he is!” But the highlight of this reading had to be this heartfelt bit of free verse:
As I ran my fingers
across the furry creature
it ribbed its body against my leg
when I smell the air
I smell tuna fish
All of the sudden I hear
something…
I hear it purr.
It was a high point to wrap up on folks. Grown ups read is a highly recommended activity for your next social gathering.
Now on to the more traditional fare:
JK – Beyond the Horizon, by Colin Angus
- A rare non-fiction recommendation from JK
- One crazy man who circumnavigates the planet based on muscle power alone in 2 years
- A nice easy read about an absolutely mind-blowing achievement
Loretta- Everything is Illuminated, by Jonathan Safran Foer
- Book is looking stylish in a faux-vintage Penguin cover
- Multiple points of view and crazy language
- Narrative of a trip and an inside story of letters {Sorry for the crappy summary L., complicated books get shortchanged by shorthand}
- Loretta reads a great passage containing the most specficic (and perhaps necessarily so) wedding vows that have ever been made
- Features a character “that was so much like Stunt [referring to the book by Claudia Dey], that I made a little noise.”
- “If you don’t read this book, I’m hunting somebody down!” (That’s the kind of passion I like to see at these meetings – that which inspires violence)
Speaking of violence, Marci goes ANTI-recommendation on this one, which is somewhat against the KIRBC’s attempts at positive endorsements, but I was curious about her vehemence. The source of her venom? A Respectable Trade, by Phillipa Gregory, which ended up ripped up and in the recycling bin.
- Attempt to expose the slave trade in Victorian England.
- Trying to take people out of boxes but just ends up putting them in new ones
- “She ruins everything by creating caricatures.”
- Overdoing the passion wipes out subtlety
Cheese - Atmosperic Disturbances, by Rivka Galchen
- Thinks the cover would have really used a photoshop filter.
- Sarah has blinding joy light moments (the joy light goes on when you get to use things you used in school in another context)
- A sad, touching story following a man’s descent into madness when he can’t accept changes in his wife.
- Sarah reads the longest sentence in history not written by Judith Butler – it’s a subordinate clause party!
- “Some strange techno babble makes the reading kind of choppy, but just skip over it and you’ll be fine.”
Go-Go - Runanway, by Alice Munro
- G-G reminisces over her first taste of Wild Swans (the book, not the bird)
- Loves the focus on the relationships between females, including the lasting one between female readers and Alice (always a first name basis with Alice Munro)
- Speaks to the unspoken pressures and expectations in relationships and depicts the relationships you’re NOT supposed to have
- She’s always cruel to her characters
- Marci & Cheese: “She’s a cautionary tale.” M: “Makes you worry about settinling into the things chosen for you.” C: She makes you worry about EVERYTHING.”
Anne L. – Franny and Zooey, by J.D. Salinger
- Only took a few hours to read, but still made her go “Huh.” (in a good, pensive way).
- Nicotene junkies, borrow this book quick – comes with authentic cigarette smell. (Cheese: “Sold.” )
- First half focusing on Franny, second on Zooey.
- Anne L. has a crush on Zooey.
- Franny goes a little crazy at university and has to go home, 2nd half of the book is spent figuring out what happened.
- Somebody (possibly NSP) connects the last two books with Sex and the City (show, not book). well, done. well, done.
NSP – Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes, by Neil Gaiman (who is going to be at Luminato this year, FYI)
- First in the Sandman series
- Some of the characters look like eighties popstars
- Integrates mythology, folktales etc.
- About a crazy man who is trying to imprison death (who is a lady)
- The dream world falls into chaos when the Sandman is kidnapped.
- Beautiful, intricate title pages that also set up the paradigms for the issue
- NSP gets some allusion joy light action from the focus on Dante’s Divine Comedy.
- NSP enchants us with her reading again (Also for the public record: She promised to get on her recording of The Last Unicorn. We will hold her to this).
- Annnd at the end of NSP’s extensive, intelligent and passionate verbal dissertation/praise song, Anne Lewis adds “So…you’d recommend it.”
Reeder - Swing Low: A Life, by Miriam Toews
- Reeder’s once again championing Toews, whom she’ll clearly be going to see at the TPL events this summer
- A memoir written for her bipolar father how he would have written it (SPOILER ALERT!) before he killed himself
- Puts herself in her dad’s shoes, who ran himself down way too much
- The best book Reeder has read in a long time.
And to finish off, some deleted scenes/bonus material:
Marci (about Reeder’s “The Me that You See”): “You were trying to PR yourself but your weren’t crazy!” [shaking her journal vigorously for emphasis]
JK, after Natalie describes a character in Sandman immortalizing himself by putting parts of himself in various physical objects: “HORCRUXES!” [Crickets] “Oooookay. No Harry Potter fans in the house.”
NSP, commenting on Sarah Slean in the recent Canada Reads: “I like her music, but if you’re not singing, shut your mouth.”
Marci tells a serious story about impending death, which leads to the real problem: what to wear to a celebrity couples costume party. (As you can see, we haven’t come that far since grade three.)
Stay tuned for the next themed KIRBC: Grownups Read Bad Love Letters They’ve Sent or Received (as Kids).
